Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Ben, the two of us love no more...

Dear Ben-

It was Michael Jackson who said: "With a friend to call my own I'll never be alone and you my friend will see you got a friend in me.

I didn't say it, perhaps you are a bit confused.

Poor Ben, you feel you're always running here and there and not wanted anywhere.  

You are right!  No one wants you around.

You certainly aren't wanted in my house.

Get to steppin'.  You tried to visit this summer... 

...I locked your beady eyes out.  Because I heard you are a bad house guest, this small deterrent was quickly replaced by a much larger one (a piece of heavy cement) because I really don't like the things I've heard about you.

I thought you got the hint...but noooo...I heard you begging and pleading to visit this week.

Oh, Ben!  What am I going to do with you?


You don't want to pay the mortgage, utilities or even food!  You just want to eat me out of house and home and then claim squatters rights to get me out of my home.



I'm calling the Rat Patrol on you because you gots to get the H$#@ up outta here even before you get here!

Oh, in case you wanted a place to go Michael misses you.   I'm going to arrange for you (and your family) to visit him because that's just the type of giving person I am.