Thursday, April 30, 2009

The Cougar: 1 Woman, 20 Younger Men

Last night I tried to be a good rageous reporter for you guys and finally watch The Cougar hosted by Vivica Fox.  


I'm not sure which was harder to watch:
  • Vivica's tightly altered face 
  • Vivica prancing around in clothes that screamed: hey I'm over 40 and trying really, really hard to have someone look at me and think I'm hot
  • Vivica's hair with the big bangs.  I was thinking...why'd she go and do that?  
  • the young men trying hard not to call the woman "old" and then replacing it for Cougar
  • the guys who still have adolescent bodies try to make it with a 40-something woman
  • those same "men" acting like teens in an effort to win her affection...rapping, juggling, performing a tired lap dance
  • boring, monotone Stacey in general   
Oh man, this show is the worst!  After 20 minutes of it I could no longer do it.  I will not.  REPEAT.  Will not, watch The Cougar again.  Ok, maybe next season to see if the show has gotten any better; I do need something to write about after all.   

INMHO this is a show not worth watching.  I'd rather do laundry, clean my house, organize shelves...heck clean my toilets!  I'll even come clean yours, but please don't make me watch this show again!  

Has anyone else watched The Cougar?  Am I off base?  

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Even Millionaires are Idiots

Have you ever watched Millionaire Matchmaker with Rageous woman Patti Stanger?  Now, everyone doesn't like it but I think she is a hoot!  Plus I get a chance to see that even millionaires are idiots and from the cheap seats...I don't feel so bad.  I usually don't believe in misery loves company, however in this case I do make an exception.  If you participate in Millionaire Matchmaker you kinda set yourself up for whatever haterade you get.  I'm just sayin'. 

Over the weekend I was watching on of the shows and Patti went the $%2* off about men.  She said there is a problem with men today and something really needs to be done about it.  The fact that they don’t follow through. They promise to call, they’re flaky, they ask you out at the last minute. They don’t respect people’s schedules. They don’t really have any manners. They don't court women anymore.  She wanted to know what were we going to do about this?

Good question Patti.  You are the matchmaker--what are we going to do?  Blogosphere?

Monday, April 27, 2009

Career Crisis

Can I be honest?  I'm not happy go lucky these days.  Oh, can you tell?  Do you want to know why?  I'm having a career crisis!  I'm 39.11 (lol) and I don't know what the heck I want to do when I grow up!  I have way too much education (and student loans) to be like this.  You would think that after that MBA I would have figured it out.  NOPE!  Once I got it (1999) and became a high-paid corporate consultant I was like what the hell!?  Is this what I signed up for?  Hated it. (huge sighhhh)   I moved on after a few years and have been moving on ever since trying to find my niche.  

What do I really want to do?  Don't know.  Some days I think I do.  Some days I don't know.  I'm a crazy ass Gemini who loves the 60s.  I've been like this for a good decade (Yes, I know.  Pretty sad.  I had you fooled didn't I?) so it isn't anything new, but since I'm turning 40 I just can't go on doing something I hate.  I'm miserable.  What do I do?  Not to mention the economy sucks...I'm not even going to get started on that one or else you might see me jump right from this page.  lol 

Much like the cartoon I used to think I could have it all and be anything I wanted, but now I've realized that sure I can have it all just not at the same time.  Sure, I can be anything I want...just as long as I choose right the first time or can afford to pay for past lessons learned.  

Ok, no bitching tomorrow...only after you solve my career crisis.  What the hell do I do when I grow up?????

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

It Just One of Those Weeks!

I couldn't find a larger image but I think you get the point.  It's been a pretty stinky week...weeks since my return from St. Thomas.  That damn Chinese horoscope is a fluke, I want my money back!  Oh, that's right it was free.  No wonder...sighhhhhhh.  Would someone send me a crop of four leaf clovers, a rabbit's foot, a magic lamp, a special potion or my own little Leprechaun?  I'm desperate!  No, really I am.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Texting...Just Pick-up the Phone!

I don't know about you but as much as I hate to admit it, I've succumbed to texting like a teenager (too bad I don't have the metabolism to match).  In conferences when I'm bored, last night at a pageant, at the grocery store, in the doctor's office, in the airport, on my couch...I've even been know to text while in the bathroom (not my finest moment).  I'm a grown woman for goodness sakes when does it end?  I'll tell you when.  In courtship.  I can't stand a man substituting texting for actual conversations.

Excuse me.  Telephone.  Dial.  Speak.  

All of this technology has made everyone so lazy and if dating (at 39.10) wasn't hard enough, I have to fight to get an actual telephone call.  What is wrong with that picture?  My girlfriends and I often talk about how frustrating the texts are and we try to decipher what the heck the texts meant.  More often than not, we end up giving them the boot via text since that is what they understand or not since they never return texts or pickup the phone anyway.  I guess we just weren't "sexty" enough.   Apparently understanding the meaning of texts poses a common problem for woman so much so that Cosmo has written an article about texting with a man.  The article was not only comical but provided a little insight for me, so I thought I would share for with the other single women baffled by men texting instead of picking up the phone.  

The 3 Text Messages Women Overanalyze
By Sammy Davis
We get a short text message from someone we're into, and then immediately show it to our friends for analysis. Then we read it again — and again, and again, and again — to pore over the time it was sent, the choice of words, and any other hidden signs of meaning.   For many of us, the text message is the easiest way to communicate, but can be the most difficult to understand. Yet, despite the complex layers you swear you’re reading between the lines of your tiny cell phone screen, most texts are more straightforward than your heart may mistakenly believe.
Think of it this way: Would a modern-day Romeo have texted Juliet instead of wooing her in person? Perhaps. But then Juliet would have spent 15 minutes analyzing his electronic poetry, and they may never have become star-crossed lovers.

The members of Cosmo Confidential — Cosmopolitan's online Q&A community for dating, sex, and relationship advice — have seen the good, bad and ugly of text messages. Here’s three up for their analysis — and your reply.
(Sent Saturday, 1:03 a.m.) "Hey, are you out tonight?"
What You Think It Means: “He’s been thinking about me all night. He must really like me, but is too scared to call.”
What It Really Means: Misssongstress offered her interpretation. “He’s at the bar with his friends,” she said. “After a few drinks, they’re bored of one another, the game, the atmosphere, whatever. So man takes phone out of pocket, and man seeks woman via text message. And, honey, that woman just happens to be you.”
How You Respond: If you’re just as buzzed — or if you think said man is truly into you and you have evidence to confirm it — reply back appropriately. “I’m out at [insert bar name here.] You should swing by!”
If he doesn’t reply that night, don’t text him again. And whatever you do: Don’t send him a follow-up text the next day. He chose to text while drinking, and you chose to reply. If the conversation stops there, the text message wasn’t worth analyzing in the first place.
“After a night out at the bar, I have the terrible habit of texting every girl I’ve ever had romantic relations with,” confessed Rodeofella847. “I usually send them a ‘Hey, what’s up’ text, and then pass out at home before seeing their reply. The next day, I turn on my cell phone to find the repercussions of my actions — five different women texting me, all asking if I’m OK!”

(Sent Tuesday, 8:37 p.m.) “Hey, there. How was your day?”
What You Think It Means: “He asked something so sweet and caring that he’s clearly head over heels for me. Now I have to play hard to get! I’ll send a short reply to see if he carries on the conversation.”
What It Really Means: You’ve been on a few dates, but you’re not an item — yet. His check-in texts imply something more. Our thoughts: Yes, he likes you. But head over heels? Too soon to tell.
“If I’m really into her, I’ll text random love notes to her, like ‘Saw something that reminded me of you,’ or ‘Hope you’re enjoying this weather.’ I won’t ask her questions better suited for a real conversation,” said Laxplyrpsu.
How You Respond: Skip the generic “Good, how was yours?” reply. And whatever you do, don’t play games. Flirt back, and in between emoticons, ask him to call you later. If he’s smart, he will. Maybe not at that very moment, but later on that evening. If he doesn’t call, you have every right to pick up the phone and dial.
Our suggestion: "Hey! My day is good, but it’d be even better if you gave me a call later [insert smiley face here]."
“Don’t try to act disinterested by giving short replies. He’s probably texting you first because he’s too shy to call,” said Sugarsailor349. “Give him reason to pick up the phone, and you’ll both win.”

(Sent Sunday, 12:19 p.m.) “Hey, did you get home OK?”
What You Think It Means: “I have absolutely no idea. I just slept with the guy, and when we woke up, he seemed to want the bed to himself, so I just left. I’m still not sure what to make of that, either.”
What It Really Means: So you had a one-night stand with this guy, and in the morning, you bounced without so much as a goodbye. Clearly, he wants to make sure you got home safe. Good. Whether he kicked you out or not is up to your own interpretation, but realize that assuming the worst could be writing off a potentially good thing.
“There’s a reason why so much uncertainty surrounds a one-night stand. Because it happens in the dead of night!” said Jackiewhite18. “Women leave because we mistakenly figure the guy doesn’t want us around past sunrise.”
She’s right. If one of you just picked up and left at dawn, then we applaud him for being the first to reconnect. A low-key text is the best way to do that.
How You Respond: Still think you want to see him again? Then we suggest: “Yup, thanks! Had a really great time last night! Sorry I left, but I had to be somewhere early. Can we catch up soon so I can make up for it?”
Thank him, give a reason for your quick departure, and then ask when you can see him again. If he’s interested, he’ll take the hint and run with it.
Who knows, a post-hookup text could be the start of something good — just ask Hulugirl55, who didn’t wait for her guy to make the first contact after the awkward morning-after.
“When people ask how I met my boyfriend, I can’t help but blush. We met at a party, one thing led to another, and I woke up in his bed. Later that day, I sent him a text joking about the night before. His reply, ‘Let’s do it again!’ We’ve been together ever since,” she said.

Are you getting texts from men?  How do you feel about all of this texting especially in dating?  

Friday, April 17, 2009

In The Dating Trenches

Wednesday I had two dates, one at 5:00 and one at 8:30.  Both were interesting and since we get so much enjoyment out of my dating life, I thought I would share (although I have missed telling you about a few).

So, I met this guy who worked in DC but lived in MD and caught the train into the city for work.   His suggestion for our first date was that I drive 40 minutes to where he lived so he could take me to Olive Garden.  Hmmmm.  No thanks. I’m not a chain restaurant type of a woman and certainly not traveling 40 minutes for a first date.  I believe that was a date I went to when I was like 25 not 39.  As one of my male friends said: FLAG.  As he tried to convince me to drive 40 minutes for Olive Garden, I suggested we meet the next day in the city.

The next day it was raining, so I drove past his job and picked him up so we could find a restaurant around his job.  He suggested the Channel Inn (a 2-3? star hotel).  I said “REALLY?  Channel Inn?  No, Way!  Old Guys (acting like playas, with their mistresses) go there.”  He said "only on Thursdays."  I told him emphatically NO.  He said "fine we can go anyplace you want to go."   Great.  Let’s go to the lobby bar in the Mandarin (a 5 star hotel). I pull up and you can only valet and he says, “Oh, you are rolling like that?” I just look at him and get out of the car.  I have a friend who is a sales manager there so I call him to come save me. He comes and has a drink with us then covers the first round.  It takes my dates 10 minutes to ask me if I wanted another drink (remember he didn’t pay for the first round) then 10 more minutes to see if I wanted an appetizer.  At 7:00 I say, I have to go pick up my friend.  As we are leaving we both have to go to the restroom but remember my car is in valet. He hasn’t yet said "let me get your car for you."  Well, I do what any self-respecting woman would do and give him my valet ticket and say "please get my car while I am in the restroom."  He looks at me like I am crazy but gets my car.  That’s what he gets for trying to take me to Olive Garden and Channel Inn… As Steve Harvey says in his new book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, "Men respect standards: get some and men will rise to the occasion if they are interested in you." 

Moving on to the next date. It was a quick meet and greet because I couldn’t take much more after the other guy so it was Starbucks.  The guy was very attractive and had the body of a 22 year old and unfortunately a brain to match.  He was pretty immature and I didn’t get the idea he was that bright.  I left the old soul for the I don’t want to grow up kid.  ARGHHHH.  Don’t get me wrong, they were both “nice” guys but alas not for me.


Have a great weekend!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Yummie for my Tummie

No matter how much I exercise (ok I'm not really doing it that much), my middle seems to be the bane of my existence.  I haven't had kids, but those terrible surgeries (myomectomy and hysterectomy) left my once flat stomach looking like a fallen souffle.  UGH.  Occasionally, I think about a tummy tuck and lipo, but then I think about clothes and a remodeling my home (bathroom, kitchen, etc.)...a dream deferred.  So, instead I just buy Spanx and clothes that accentuate the positive.  However, I'm always on the lookout for something to help with my challenge area, especially since I haven't gotten to the gym as much as I would like or started martial arts yet...enter Yummie Tummie.  

They have tanks, t-shirts (long and short) and slips which have a secret midsection panel that smoothes and shapes your middle, eliminating approximately five pounds off your appearance.  They even have a built in shelf bra (I'm wondering if the shelf is big enough for what I'm carrying but that is a different story).  That is just what the doctor ordered!  Now I only need to loose 5 pounds instead of 10!  

Disclaimer: I haven't purchased one yet because they are kind of pricey ($62-$82 for t-shirts up to $132 for slips), but I do intend to get one.  I'll let you know how it works out when I do.  

Has anyone tried Yummie Tummie yet?  Do you have any other slimming apparel to recommend?

The Thing About Turning 40...

This is kind of like the thing you love about your husband/man/significant other is the same thing that drives you crazy about them.  

Monday, April 13, 2009

Linda Hogan, I'm a Little Concerned

Is it just me or is there something seriously wrong with 50 year old Linda Hogan dating a pimply faced 19 year old Charlie Hill?  Oh and he used to be her son's best friend.  That just seems like statutory rape to me.  What the heck can a 19 year old do or know for that matter besides mow my lawn and run a few errands.  He can't even by me a chocolate martini.  Does he even know what or where my g-spot is?  I'm all for youth but give me a man who is at least seasoned, and had a few more years with Clearasil, you know like 23 or something.  LOL  


Head hanging low and shaking side to side.  

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Sexual Fluidity

As women, it is said we reach our sexual prime in our 40s, yet something else is also happening that hasn’t been talked about much until recently, this notion of love being blind (as in gender) or sexual fluidity.   Two weeks ago Oprah had a show devoted to women who were involved with women or women living without labels.   Some had left men for women and some had been in these “fluid” relationships.

One woman stated “as women, we get older and there is more push & pull (which allows for flexibility).”  This woman had never had a prior relationship with a woman yet ended up mesmerized by Jackie Warner star of the Bravo reality series Work Out.  She simply stated that her man was giving her nothing she needed and Jackie gave her everything and filled every void…she took her breathe away and so the relationship began.  They are no longer together; she now has a boyfriend of over a year that knows all about her relationship with Jackie.  Then there was Comedian Carol Leifer who said “when I turned 40 I had a last desire to tick off my mother, I suddenly had this really mad desire to have an affair with a woman.” She has been with Lori for 12 years now.

In Lisa Diamond’s book, Sexual Fluidityshe discusses the issue of sexual fluidity much more but mentions it's not necessarily that more women than men are likely to be involved with both genders, it has more to do with the fact that women have a greater capacity to respond erotically, under certain circumstances and to particular individuals -- in ways that might be directly inconsistent with their sexual orientation (i.e., lesbian women periodically becoming attracted to men, and heterosexual women periodically becoming attracted to women).  So at any one point in time, they might not -- in fact -- be attracted to both genders, but they have more of a capacity for fluid attractions over the life course.  Certainly, differences in the way that women and men are socialized with regard to their sexuality play a role.  

If anyone out there ever went to an all girl college and acted on their same sex attraction with another girl for a period of time then married a man that is an example of fluidity.  In my understanding fluidity is more than experimentation, it is part of who you are at that point in time.  

I haven't read the book but I do know women who are very in tune with their sexual fluidity (if you will) and those who have changed from preferring men to women and some back to men again.  I always chalked it up to being comfortable with themselves or whatever worked for them.  I had no idea that there was anything called sexual fluidity.  Maybe I'll read the book now.  It actually makes sense to me.  

What do you think about this notion of Sexual Fluidity?  The question is as we get older, as we mature more, find out who we are, likes, dislikes, needs, wants, do we become more fluid?  Are we open to being fluid or do we still deny the fluidity that is within?   Can one be fluid in a relationship?  Do you think women are becoming more sexually fluid because of the lack of quality men or because of the quality of women?  

p.s. Yes, this is a day should know better by now!  

Friday, April 10, 2009

Running Late

Sorry I'm sooo late on the post today (dang, another tiny picture).  It is written but since it is such an interesting one -- think sex-- I have a re-write to do and no time to do it.  Honestly, it won't get posted until tomorrow.  I'll do better next week.  Let's just call this week my post vacation traumatic syndrome week.  

See you tomorrow morning lol...I promise!  

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Is Sustainable Youth My Fountain of Youth?

Apologies for no post yesterday.  I'm on day 2 of a migraine, it took me all day to write this.  See how much I heart thee; even through pain I write for you.  Can I get a cookie now?  :-)

There is a new, organic, anti-aging company in town -- Sustainable Youth where they believe beauty can and should be achieved from the inside out.  Steps are taken both orally and topically to renew and restore your skin’s elasticity and firmness.  Their magic ingredient seems to be Alasta™, a propriety blend containing Aloeride®, which research has shown can be a potent immune-stimulatory ingredient (derived from Aloe Vera) that stimulates macrophage activation. (Macrophage function is important for wound healing and collagen production.)

Since I’m trying to stay off of the cutting board as long as possible and am shifting to a more natural lifestyle using only fillers when really needed (both literally and figuratively), I thought I should give the products a try.  Yes, it helped they asked me also…semantics.  So, over the next 4 weeks I am going to be a real live guinea pig (typical for me anyway).  I don’t have wrinkles yet (thanks Mom), but I am getting laugh lines that I would like to see a little less of and one way or another(yes, I did say that), I will.  Following is my regimen for the next four weeks:
  • Elastifirm Supplement Capsules (twice a day)
  • Revitalizing Serum (morning and evening)
  • Elasticity Cream (morning and evening)
Wish me luck!  Maybe I’ll end up looking like I’m 21 again.  Ok, maybe not 21, but let’s see what changes the next 4 weeks Sustainable Youth brings forth.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

I'm Back!

Yes, it’s been a week, but I’m back.  Vacation is over.  Back to reality.  I had a fabulous time.  I tried to log on to get my online fix (and catch you guys up) until I found out it was $15.95 a day in addition to my $25 breakfast, $25 lunch, $40 dinner, $10 per drink charge then suddenly my free vacation was not so free (note to self: it's never a free lunch).   I had to pass on something so the urge to emerge quickly diverged.
I expected to go on vacation and lie on the beach the entire time and chill but to the contrary. My friend had friends who had friends (did you get that) in St. Thomas so they took us out every night except the first night.  Restaurants, bars, beaches, home cooked dinners; we were treated royally or was that like royalty.  Blast.  I did manage to get a little burn beach time.  I was in the sun a little too long and got a little too crispy!  I’m very sure the sun was not great for my rageous skin even with all this melanin.  After this trip, I’ve decided this is my last tanning session or not wearing SPF 900.  When you get darker the lines are way more noticeable (at least to me they are).  I could also be more sensitive because I’m getting ready to turn 40; nevertheless I’m done cooking.  I know, save the comments about cancer and all of that stuff, I rarely did it and I know the ramifications…blah, blah.  I’m now going through corrective action…serum, extra moisturizing, exfoliating and apologizing like crazy (to my face of course).  I appreciate you, I appreciate you, I appreciate you…forgive me, for I have sinned.  

Back to regularly scheduled blogging.  I have some pretty good posts coming up.