Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Are You Lying About Your Age?

Proudly we proclaim 40 is the new 30.  Yes, what a great sisterhood we have in our new found "youth".  New goals are set and we finally understand the statement youth is wasted on the young.  We promise not to do "that" anymore because we are smarter, stronger, and wiser now.  

But are we? 

Many women over 40 still feel the pressure from society to lie about their age.  40 is still 40... meaning it's just old.  No one will want you.  Hang it up.  You will never get married.  YIKES! So, many beautiful women believe the hype and start off relationships carrying an unnecessary burden or misleading the man.  Sure, men do it to...I've met a few and when I found out I gave them the boot.  I didn't want to date anyone in that age bracket (50s) and I certainly didn't want to date anyone that would lie about their age.  It just didn't bode well with me.  

I know I'm just turning 40 but as I'm online dating there are LOTS of men that are not interested in dating me because of my age.  OK.  Keep in Moving.  They just are not meant for me.  I come with other issues age 35 I lost my ability to have children.  Try telling a man that.  Keep it moving.  I know there is a man for me, but I'm not going to lie about who I am. Plus, I'm a terrible liar anyway.  Just ask my mother.

I know some of you do it and have done it.  I don't mean to offend and I'm not berating's just not my thing. But remember all of these little cliches:  
  • You're only as old as you tell yourself
  • Age is only a number
  • Age is mind over matter, if you mind then it matters
  • Get up and move (I just made that one up)
  • If they don't want you the way you are, the hell with them (ok, I made that up too)
Finally, thanks to Fabulous After 40 for posting this video from CBS about Should Women Lie About Being Over 40...this actually sparked my post for the day.

 So, what do you think?  Is it okay to lie about your age?  


  1. Geez Louise, why lie about ANYTHING? The old saying, "The truth will set you free" says it all. If you are true to you, and people (read men here) can't/don't or choose not to associate with you, why is that some sort of loss to you or statement capable of damaging your self esteem? Why do we let others DO THAT to us??

    SO TRUTHS: I am soon to be 46. I teach high school Science. I am single (and blissfully so), I have a 2 year old daughter I adopted from Ethiopia. I have little wrinkles on my face and some gray in my hair (but it is covered with "color" because I choose to do that) AND I am carrying some extra weight on my frame. If love is looking for me, here I am. If not, I am still here and having a terrific life with my family, especially my daughter, out of whose bellybutton shines a rainbow of laughter and love of life!!

    My motto is: Happiness is wanting what you have, NOT having what you want.

    Dreaming and searching are good things but they mean nothing if you lose appreciation of any moment due to trying to please SOMEONE for SOME REASON and of those glorious people in your life. Until you get to such a place as this in your life, where you accept your personal truths, the rest is just... well, passing time.

    Lie about my age, NEVER! With ages, comes wisdom. Tell people to mind their own business, SOMETIMES! LOL

    I have been enjoying my 40's way more than my 30's. Plus I have younger women in my life that look to me as a role model and a mentor. If I can't lie to them then I certainly can't lie to myself...


  2. Tami,

    I would NEVER lie about my age! Especially when it comes to dating. It’s tough enough when everyone’s completely honest with one another. It just gets that much trickier when you start blurring the truth in hopes of being found more attractive.

    I want to attract a partner who finds me attractive in the first place, not someone I need to lie to in order to impress.

    Eventually, they will find out how old you really are. Then what are you going to say?


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  4. i have gone thru phases where i bare all and who cares? but with online dating, i think fudging your age a little bit isn't that big of a deal. rarely is anyone really totally upfront about who they are (think: liposuction, nose jobs, weaves, permanents, relaxers, hair color, acrylic nails, push up bras, extensions... i could go on and on). if one wants to be totally upfront about who they are, then they should be totally natural at all times. and let's be truthful ladies -- we are not.

    in addition, with online dating i don't want all my personal info out there for complete strangers to find out who i am with a bit of digging. not safe with all the wackos out there. instead, i wait until i get to know someone a bit better to reveal the whole deal. it's safe and if they like you they will understand. i would tell them around the fourth date. i don't think that's a big deal IMHO.

    ~single PAP

  5. I look a lot younger than my true age, so I love telling people how old I am, just to see their reaction!

  6. "Happiness is wanting what you have, NOT having what you want."

    Tracy, I love your motto!

    I would never lie about my age. I'm too proud to be where I am and how far I have traveled. I have earned every year.

  7. Jeepers Creepers - I didn't have a subscription feed to this blog and bloody forgot about it until I had to hunt down your email address. I just emailed you!

  8. Hey I got your message..I love it to. I thought of green velvet because I have went through hundreds of images as I have been on my journey, and i have seen some room with linen and velvet mix and it was eclectic to me. But its a journey, and thanks for your help and your opinion with helping me decide.

  9. I somehow missed this post. I'm another one of those people who would never lie about my age. Really what's the point. I'm 48 with an almost 4 year old daughter and an almost 32 year old son. I love my 40's so much more than my 30s, probably because I love myself more now.

    I have been feeling a little hesitant to mention my age lately when I meet men cause they are always so much younger than me and because they make a big deal about me not looking my age. I'm very lucky to have good aging genes :-) but for some reason I've been feeling shy/embarassed about it lately. But I would never lie about it and I am greatful for the good genes.


  10. I'm late...but my question to the age question is, "Why you wanna know how old am I?" Hell, I'm good at whatever age I am, think I am, or feel I am...Yep, I'm good at 36 and that's the age I'm sticking to!