Tuesday, January 6, 2009

I Crushed His Head!!!

First, he said he liked independent women, so I played it cool...

Then, he said he liked romantic women, so I played it hot...

Then, he said he liked passive women, so I played it weak...

Then, he said he liked strong women, so I crushed his head!!!!! 

Yes, I'm 39 and single.  I would like to find a husband but just not any 'ole man just for the sake of it.  I'm tired of men telling me that if I do A then B (the husband) won't happen.  I've played those games for years now and I'm still single.  So, guess what?  I'm no longer that woman.  

A few days ago I was introduced to a 44 year old man I'll call Ray.  Professional, attractive and a tad obnoxious was Ray.  During our telephone conversation he mentioned I needed to find a husband.  Ok, I said.  "I need a wife, you need a husband...great match."  Hmmmm, I thought.  As the conversation continued somehow we got on the subject of single parent families and adoption.  Oh, boy, Ray really began to show his true colors.  Ray said the following verbatim (I wrote it down): "...the only thing a single parent adoption shows is you can't keep a companion or a man.  It shows your instability to keep a man...single people should not be allowed to adopt as it leads to a dysfunctional situation in the house..." SERIOUSLY!  WTF!  

Needless to say I was beside myself since I am in the process of adopting.  I let Ray continue.  Open mouth, insert foot.  Finally, I said "by the way...I am adopting."  He was a little confused until I cleared it up for him.  "Yes.  Adopting.  Now.  I'm waiting for my daughter to come home now, although I do have a little wait."  Ohhhh weeee.   I wish I were a fly on a wall last night.  He tried to back peddle, but I wouldn't let him.  I then went off on him sister-gurl style.  No, it wasn't a pretty sight or sound at all.  

Ray then suggested to me that I get married first because having a child will limit my dating and husband options.  Oh, really?  "Let's see", I said.  "I'm 39 and never married.  I tried to wait and find the man for me and it didn't work out, so I think I'll be just fine!  Any man that I marry will love me and my daughter.  He'll be fine with us both!"  Oh, I was a pissed off woman!  But that is not even the end of it.  He had the nerve to ask me, after all of that, "what do I think about the two of us?"  WHATTTTTTT?????  He wanted to know if we had a chance.  If I wanted to get to know him.   "Hey, maybe I could be your husband", he said HUH NOOO!   

Ladies, I don't know about you, but I can only be who I am.  I've done much and lost more all for the sake of getting and keeping a man.  Those days are over!  Yes, I do want the relationship, but I'm no longer sacrificing me for anyone anymore!  So, if you've been sacrificing yourself for anyone...take yourself back in 2009!  


  1. Yay for you!!! He so deserved to have his head crushed!

  2. Good for you. The right guy will never make you feel doubt or even the faintest twinges of discomfort. And he's out there -- I bet you already know him somehow.

    Keep the faith.

  3. yeesh! where are you finding these guys? wait - that one had eharmony written all over it...

  4. Barbara not eharmony, I was introduced to him by my Aunt. He was a friend of her friend. So, there! LOL

  5. I am baffled. Some men are so obtuse. Pathetic. Good for you. When you find someone that wants to be with you for YOU and your daughter then it'll be right, amen.


  6. I can't believe he said all that! When I hear stories like this (although this is surely one of the worst), I have to shake my head in astonishment at people's judgments. My blood started to boil as I read further so I can imagine you unleashing yourself on this ignorant fool.

    I think you handled him well.

  7. Was he dead against single parent adoption, because he thought he would get less attention, if he dated someone with a child? Def would have crushed his head and something else as well....!

  8. . . . ummm, I don't mean no harm, but the NEXT time your Aunt has a desire to introduce you to someone, please tell her in your BEST sarah palin voice, "Thanks, but no thanks!"

    . . . them the kind of "kneegro.." okay, I better stop before I offend somebody, no, wait, this is Tami's blog site for women who know who they are. . . them the kind of mens'n'nem that makes me roll my eyes until it looks as if I've fallen asleep!

    . . . if he calls you again: do.not.answer.your.phone.put.it.on.voicemail!

    ...sending you something off in the snailmail this weekend---check your box mid-week next week. (smile)!

  9. Janette,

    I don't think the adoption has anything to do with him getting less time, he was just a jerk. He was the traditional I am the man hear me roar. He said he didn't want to deal with other people's problems but if his wife wanted to then he would. When I said I couldn't have kids then he said oh, ok then that is a different story, I guess we could adopt. But you still need to find a husband first! ARGGHHHHH. IDIOT!!!!! He said he didn't even like to date women with children because they usually weren't well mannered. WTH? JERKKKKK. LOL

  10. Tami- lol @ the woman who said this has eharmony written all over it. I am wishing you all the best. I know there is a good fella out there for you and if not OH Well, Tami will be just fine.
    I am so happy to read that you are taking yourself back in 09. YAY

  11. The good ones seem to show up when you aren't paying attention and often they are the guys you would not pay much attention to. But once you get to know them, you know they're the one.

    Hang in there, and thank Ray for showing his true colors and saving you time...next.