Tuesday, March 3, 2009

We Should Be Having Sex

A recent article in The Guardian -The Joy of Confidence, shows women in their 40s are having the best sex of their lives.  Yeah, Baby!  I have to hurry up and find a man, boy toy husband so I can really enjoy my 40s.  I don’t want all of this hotness to go to waste.  

Dating sidebar:  a few weeks ago I was on a date and told an extremely crude man I don't intend to be intimate unless we are in an exclusive relationship since my goal is marriage.  He told me I'm almost 40, I only have 10 good years left, I need to be F$%^*n' someone!  WHATTTTTTT?  Sighhhhh.... yeah that date was a wrap.  But, you know in my date glory, he called again and tried to take me out and wondered what was wrong?  Did I not have a good time?  Uhh...NOOOOOOO!

Okay back to the post:

If you are under 40 and not having great sex you have something to look forward to.  If you are over 40 and not having great sex one reason the article points out is that you simply may not be interested in your partner any longer.  Ooooo, that’s keeping it real, but maybe you can get that spark back to get to great sex again.  Maybe you just need to loosen up a little, gain a little more confidence, learn yourself a little more (another topic for another day) or say to hell with convention (this is left to you for your interpretation).  Whatever it is, this is your time.

So, go have a little or a lot of sex...just have it.  It’s okay, the survey says so.

Are you having better sex in your 40s than you did at any other point in your life?


  1. I think I peaked at about 36-38!!!!! I've been married for 17 years, ya know...

  2. hummm..that's an interesting one. Well, for me..I'm getting divorced after having sex with the same man for the last 10 plus years. I am 44 he is 36. What was hot, hot, hot definitely burned out on my end. For me it was alot of reasons. About a year ago I met someone on-line who lives out of the country and we commenced to having an on-line affair. He ended up coming here and we had the most amazing, loving, passionate deeply felt sex that I had not had in at least 5 years or more. Soooo long story short,he went back to his country, but wants to continue to see each other every few months. I think about him waaaay too much and have been considering taking a lover to "dampen" his effect on me. I've never had a 'lover' before...what do others think about this concept?

  3. You should take a lover to help you deal with manage this new lover..Just make sure there are "rules" of the road that you both agree to and be safe.

  4. hmmm... taking a lover. i don't know. i always find the best sex is with someone i know and so therefore i always let undeserving exes back into my bed against my better judgement. i have never taken a lover --if that means sleeping with someone i don't know very well just for the sake of having sex. or is that not the definition? can someone define it for me so i can speak intelligently on the topic? thanks

  5. Hmm... Carrie took a lover (SITC) and it seemed to work. LOL...Well I took a lover. We maintained it for many years. The lines were difficult to keep from crossing. Women are passionate. We are attracted to the man that we love. It can be tricky. Worth it for sure, but tricky. Although you did the younger thing... I think younger lovers are the best, we peak in our 40's and they peak at 10 lol! (just kidding.... meant to say 18!)

  6. What's up with all of the Anon comments? You chickens! Thank you Robbin! I say be open to the possibilities of not just a new lover but a new relationship and one that is local. My waiting for your quarterly lover you are giving him all the power and control in the relationship. Sure, you are enjoying it, but he has you right where he wants you. I'm all for being satisfied and if that is all you are looking for then you're grown...do you. But, make sure you think about what you want so you don't get hurt because it sounds like you are getting feelings. I just think as women we give men our power via sex when we really have the control. So, if you want another lover go for it and have fun in the process!

  7. I'm not the 'lover' type - it always turns into such an uneven relationship for me and leaves me cold.

    Now, am I having hot sex in my 40s? Er... have I had ANY sex in my 40s?

    Dusting of that part of my memory - yes, I did, but it wasn't hot. And it just confirmed for me that NO sex is better than BAD sex.