Two Faces of Renee Z.

This just goes to prove that even actresses are human and we all can look like America's Next Top Model with a little photoshop.  Sorry Renee, I had to do it, we still heart you over at Middle Rageously though and Happy 40th on April 25th!  

BTW...don't EVER ask me to post my gym, no lip gloss, mascara or concealer picture...that is just a little too real for this blog.  

Aren't we all feeling a little more secure about ourselves right about now?!  

On Spring Break

Guess what?  I'm on my way to Spring Break!  

What had happened was...

One of my friends called me on Friday and said I needed a break and she had a ticket for me to go to St. Thomas with her on Monday to help her celebrate her birthday.  Oh, OK?!  I was shocked because I have been especially stressed these days (I'll tell you why one day when I'm not stressed anymore) and because...what a friend!  So, because I'm such a friend, I agreed to go.  :-)  

See what happens when you put pen to paper fingers to keyboard?  I'm going on Spring Break!  

I'm going to see what else I can conjure up while I'm gone I think there really might be something to this pen to paper mumble jumble after all.

I have a few posts pre-published while I'm gone.  Be good and no nasty comments that I can't respond to until I return.   

Have a great week!

DC International Film Festival Begins April 16

The Washington, DC International Film Festival begins April 16th!  Can I get a WOOT, WOOT?  I'm getting ready to check another goal off of my Rocking 40 List.   

Does anyone want to go to the Opening Night Gala with me?  How about...can anybody get me a free ticket?  Nothing beats a failure but a try!  LOL

Happy Friday!  Have a Great Weekend.  

Our Spring Break

Remember Spring Break?  The excitement of school’s out.  The excitement of doing nothing or everything for a week?  Why is it when we finished school we got so super serious and left all of our fun behind?   I remember my mother telling me “you have plenty of time to be serious,” she forgot to mention it will happen almost immediately upon graduation...On your march, get ready, set, now…serious!  No more Spring Break for you!  Well, I’m protesting!  The only thing I get to do for spring these days is cleaning.  I propose we bring back Spring Break!

If you happen to have a week and a few extra dollars to spare, why not take a beach vacation reminiscent of yore except this time luxury abounds.  If you only have a few days what about a short flight or road trip?  Tickets are super cheap and package/hotel deals are available on sites like Orbitz.com and Travelocity.com.  If you only have a day?   Take it!  A day to do whatever it is you want; rare commodity or blessing.  

No cleaning.   No kids.  No cooking.   No cellphone.  No laptop.  No working.  No kidding.

Grab your girlfriend(s) and take a break.  Take a Spring Break.  

Make an appointment at a spa or plan a spa day at someone's home (kick the family out of the house for the day of course).   Eat fabulously.  Go shopping.  See a movie or theater production.  Go to the museum.  Go to a lounge or nightclub (let men buy you drinks).  

The point is: take a break! Our kids do it and what do they need a break from; we do everything for them.   So, Rageous Women, let’s plan a spring break during the month of April.  I’m going to work on mine and get back to you.  Who is going to join me?

Rocking 40 List Update

As I approach the end of month 3 (or 2 for my Chinese New Year) of my Rocking 40 List I have accomplished a few things, but I also realize I have so far to go.  However, it has not all been for not because through this process I am learning a lot about myself like...I don’t do well being put into a box.  Many of those items I first had a monthly or weekly target but I soon realized that was too stressful for something that was supposed to be fun and I don't need any additional stress.  Some would call these goals, but I just don’t do well with closed ended goals like these, I’m more of an open-ended person.  I see the bigger picture and in Tamiville it always has more than one answer.  I could have never been an engineer or mathematician because I always thought there was more than one solution to the problem.  I'm just creative like that.  Although I don’t do well with "confinement" I realize I do need more structure in Tamiville particularly since my daughter is coming home (relatively) soon, this helps me to tackle them aggressively and give myself a break when I don’t accomplish them.  For instance: I gave up the no TV rule. My stress level required the mindless boob tube, but I am cognizant of it now and I am weaning myself off of it.  

Following are my other updates:

• Getting rid of unwanted clutter (paper) and items in my home.  This is a continuous battle.  I’m just tired of stuff! I want to lead a simple life full of only things I love, need and have a sentimental value.  How do we accumulate so many things?  I can't take it!!!!!
• Have scheduled and had monthly game parties at my house since February, they are a blast!  Number 3 is April 3.  
• Decided on the book I am going to write and have started working on the proposal and outline.  If anyone knows anything about writing a nonfiction book please send me an email.  I'm new to this....HELLLPPPP!
• Working out is up and down.  I don’t do well in times of stress, counter intuitive I know.
• Working on an adventure with my best friend…stay tuned! 
• Have not read one book! I have decided to make it a cumulative total (for the next 18 months) instead.

So…there is the update.  How are you coming with your list?

Don't Ask My Age?

This weekend I went to a birthday gathering for a friend that turned 40 a few weeks ago. It was a gathering of women where we had a great time reminiscing, relating and some refusing to admit they were or soon to be 40.  I don’t get it.  40 is a monumental time.   A rite of passage; I see it as my personal time to leave the BS behind, my private New Year or New Life.  They should all be celebrating and dancing in the street as far as I am concerned.  Instead, I have seen them lie about their age or use the line “you never ask a woman how old she is.”  Not that it matters, but these were beautiful women who looked like they were 30 and they were sad about turning 40.  Beauty definitely cannot bring confidence.

At various points in the night they mentioned how 40 was the new 30 or 20, which I believe we do have it going on these days (40 just isn’t what it used to be), but I was still bothered by the denial and sadness they had at entering this milestone.  I mean, as much as I loved my youth…I would not live it again if you paid me.  Ok, well, maybe if you paid me a lot of money, I could do the confusion, anxiety, low self-esteem and caring more about what everyone else thinks than about me again. However, I would love to have my metabolism back again, that perfect complexion, beautiful (minus the grays) hair, the ability to stay out late without taking a nap first or to have more than a drink or two and not need a day to recover…now that would be awesome!  

I think Oprah sums it up best on turning 40:

“Before I turned 40, I used to always worry about what everybody thought about everything…but, at 40, you see with crystal clarity.”

I don’t know about the other women at the party but I’m not denying or lying about being 40.  Go ahead ask me, ask me how old I am, I bet I'll tell you (some other stuff I might not)!   I’m as happy as pigs in mud (that’s for you Tracy, lol).  It is said at 40 you get clear and I must admit that each day I’m clearer as to my path and my life.  40 is great for me!

How is 40 for you?  How do your friends feel about turning 40?   If you aren’t 40 yet how do you feel about the milestone?

Dara Torres on April Cover of MORE Magazine

Ladies, Middle Rageously is becoming one of the go to blogs for Rageous women.  Who would’a thunk it?  That just goes to prove if you put together respected content , talk enough don't shut up people start to listen.  Last week I received an email about the preview cover for MORE Magazine with Dara Torres where she will talk candidly about her self-image, drugs in sports and more in advance of the release of her memoir Age Is Just a Number.   Since I was late checking my email (note to self: check email daily, you’re popular now...lol) it’s not really a preview since the magazine is on the shelf tomorrow (March 24) but never the less, here are a few excerpts from one my favorite Rageous women…now go buy the magazine!

New York, NY – When Dara Torres speaks, an allusion to swimming is never far away. “I’m still testing the waters to see what my limits are,” the perpetual comeback queen Torres tells More about why, instead of hanging up her goggles after winning three silver medals at the Beijing Olympics, she is now training for the world championships in Rome this coming July. In the April issue, on newsstands March 24, Torres speaks candidly about her self-image, drugs in sports and more in advance of the release of her memoir Age Is Just a Number. 

About being accused of taking performance enhancement drugs: “It’s the most hurtful thing. I was angry when journalists would ask to interview me and do stories that were drug-related, saying, ‘I wanted to believe Dara.’ I have a daughter who is one day going to read all this stuff. I’ve done everything I possibly can to prove that I was clean. I went to the head of the United States anti-doping agency and asked to be tested any way they wanted. They keep the samples for years. How can anyone in their right mind who is cheating decide to go through all that?”
 


About the athletes who do use drugs: “What I don’t understand is how these athletes don’t have a conscience.”
 


About her eating disorder years: “I had an eating disorder in college, and I went for years restricting myself from specific foods, looking at labels…It was a real dark thing in my life. I don’t think I would have had it if I wasn’t an athlete. I finally went to a doctor, who asked, ‘Do you make yourself throw up?’ And I said, ‘No,’ and then I felt horrible that I’d lied to her. I marched back in and told her the truth. She sent me to a psychiatrist. I threw up less, but it went on. When I decided to try for the 1992 Olympics, I knew I didn’t want to have this problem, so I stopped cold turkey.”



About being flat chested: “I have no chest; when I go to Victoria’s Secret, I have to ask if they have training bras.”
 


About her future Olympics hopes: “You have to take it day by day. I’m not going to put it out of my head until I know what my body can and can’t do.”
 


About life after swimming: “I’ve always enjoyed television and being in front a camera, reporting and interviewing.”
 


I can't wait to read the article!  Hey, maybe since I'm on the go to list now I'll get a copy or two of Dara's Memoirs for my readers as give-aways?  I think that is nice, what do you guys think?  Hint Hint

MILF REVISITED

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Cougar Camp?

I know I haven't been on my posting game this week.  I was on a mid-week date.  I'll try to catch up on the posts this weekend though.  

Since we were talking about MILFs and Cougars this week I thought I would find a camp to send you on.  Yes, really.  I found a virtual Cougar Camp for you to attend.  LOL  I'm not sure who this lady is, but, huh...I had a few laughs, then my stomach got a little queasy and I simply couldn't take it anymore.  Since I suffered through it, I figured you should too.  See, how much I adore you!

Let me know if you learned anything at camp, I didn't.   

Happy Friday!  

Cougar

Now that you know I:

• am not really touchy feely (unless you are my man and that doesn't apply to this post)
• don’t have very soft feelings
• have a tendency to make unpopular choices

And stick and stones…words don’t bother me that much.  I have another one for you.  How do you feel about the term "COUGAR"? 

That term that supposedly defines a woman over 40 pursuing/dating a younger man younger, seemingly making him her prey.  Ok, this word bugs me.  I don’t like it.  It makes the hair stand up on my neck.  Why, if I date someone a little younger, is he my prey?  Why would it seem as if the woman is taking advantage of the situation?  Trust, he is gaining also.  He is a big boy.  The only thing we say to men in that situation is…nothing!  We give them a pat on the back!  A high five!  However, for women we have a whole new category…cougar.  Arghhhh!

What do you think?

MILF

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No Computer Today

I took my Mac in yesterday to have something minor replaced and the meanies kept it.  

I'm sad.  

Lonely.  

Confused.  

Bored.

I have an old, slowwwwwwwwwwwwww PC but using it is like getting all of my teeth pulled one by one.  Excruciating!  

No post today.  

Being a Heathen Is Hard

It's a good thing I'm not Catholic because I'm sure I would have secured a place in hell by now just from failing Lent promises.  I'm trying and He knows your heart right?  Let's see:

• I'm doing pretty good on not complaining and excuses.  If I feel like complaining I just turn off the phone and go sit in front of the TV.  Yes, I know...I said I wasn't going to watch TV during the week but I've been a little bummed lately.  Hold habits die hard.  I'm getting better though.  I at least don't watch TV 2-3 days a week so that is progress.  
• Chocolate.  I haven't had any and I really do want it, however it is amazing how your appetite changes when you don't eat certain things.  
• Meat and seafood.  I ate it on one Sunday because Sunday is supposed to be a free day and I felt guilty.  I then ate it again this week when I went to a friend's for dinner.  I was so busy avoiding chocolate that my brain didn't even acknowledge the chicken in the pasta until I got home.  When I got home I was so annoyed.  Oh, well...
• Prayer.  I'm doing better.
• Exercising.  Well, here's the thing.  When I'm bummed out I don't exercise and I've been bummed out.  Luckily, I've changed my eating habits and I've lost weight so it's all good but I need to get back to the weights.  

The funny thing is I received an email from my church that they just started a 40 day of fasting on Monday.  I said, no thanks I'll pass.  I'm not rushing to the end of Lent or anything but I will enjoy sushi again.  

On a brighter note, I have been successfully dating!  Can you believe that?  Second and third dates with the same man actually!  He even paid for dinner without any coaxing from me and is very, very easy on the eyes.  

I love Spring!  

What's new with you?

I Never Ever Will

A few weeks ago I was on the phone talking with one of my girlfriends reminiscing about our days at our alma mater Howard University.  It seemed like yesterday when we were hanging out on the “yard”, dancing all night at the Ritz (no longer there) and wearing our little black dresses (I’ll leave it to your imagination what we used to call the dresses) to the club.  These days there is no little black dress, it's more like the black wrap dress (to hide the tummy).  

As we continued to talk we laughed about the good 'ole days and thought about turning 40.  We thought of those things we said in no way would we ever do...like:

• The electric slide (our mothers and their friends love this…they can keep it).
• Wear elastic waistbands in our clothes. Unless it is for workout clothes, elastic really should not be allowed in "street" clothes and called fashion.

On the flip side, now at almost 40, we find ourselves doing these things more:
• Getting dressed to go to the grocery store…somebody is going to notice.  Remember when you could just go to the corner and get noticed because you were 21?   Now, you have to do your hair, get dressed and put on makeup.  But oh, it’s so worth it!
Male stranger:  Excuse me, you are simply beautiful!

You:  Well, thank you.  It's nothing, I wake up like this!  

• Not taking a shower before you go out. What the hell, no one is going to look anyway.
• Not buying cheap clothes anymore.  My body doth protest too much.
• Knowing drink limits.  40 and drunk? Not a good look.
• Taking a nap before you go out.  If you want me out past 12, I need to recharge.
• Choosing…cleavage or legs, one or the other, not both. It’s all about distraction really.
• Getting more compliments from women than men…what is that about?
• Getting plenty of compliments from men; the compliments just come from married men…what is that about?
• Hearing “Yes, Ma’am” and looking around for my mother to see they are talking to me. DAMN!!!!
• Hearing “Miss Tami”.  The hair rises on my neck, why can’t I just be Tami? Sighhhhhh.

I know my friend and I are not the only one’s with our own list. What about you? 

What do you find yourself doing more now? What are those things that you will never do now that you are 40? Share with the rest of us.  

Open Thread

I've been writing for a couple of months now, learning what I do best and what my thousands of (yea, right) few readers enjoy.  While this blog is as much about my evolution it is also about you.  It is about us and our wonderful journey to a turning point in our lives...the big 4-0.  The rageous years.  

With that said, I would like to know what would you like to see more of, less of, none of?  I'll do my best to create posts within those requests but you know me...I'll do what I want in the end.  :-)  Isn't getting older great!  You can say and do what you want and not really care what the heck any one else thinks.  Ok, ok, ok...I care...a little.  SMOOCHES! 

P.S.  How do you like my new photo?  It was from Inauguration weekend.  

 

It's Friday!

Many hours late I am with nothing to say, because I'm working away!  Hey, I made a rhyme!

Man, that's a small picture...note to self: don't post so late so you can find better, larger pictures!  

Have a great weekend and let the fun and games resume bright and early Monday morning.  Stay out of trouble or for Anonymous (you know who you are) have fun while getting into some. We are 40 now, so who the hell do we have to answer to anyway!  ;-)

Yellow No More

One of my "To Do's" on my Rocking 40 List is to get my teeth whitened.  Not only are yellow teeth unattractive, they age you so...change the things you can change and don't worry about the others (you know the exact saying I'm sure).  

While I'm readying my purse to part with the $600 my dentist requires I decided to take matters into my own hands.  I went to TarJay to look for a short term alternative and came across the Advance White product line from Arm & Hammer.  Not only was there a toothpaste (which I had used before with no memorable change) there was now a booster.  The booster promised to make your toothpaste work 3x better to get those yellows pearly white a nice shade of tan (well, it said 3 shades).  

$3.99 for the Advance White Toothpaste and $5.79 for the Whitening Booster  

I've been using the products a couple of times a day (when I'm not too lazy) and I love the combination.  My teeth really feel clean when I brush and....drum roll please....

...my teeth are actually brighter!  Almost off-white now!  YEAH!!!!!  I'm still getting them professionally whitened but this will keep me happy until I can stomach that vanity dental bill.

I should have taken a before yellow picture but I didn't.  It's a good thing this blog is about being 40 and not a beauty blog because I would fail for sure!  

Bottom Line:  Great buy!  

Has anyone else tried Arm & Hammer?  Have you had any good results with another at home whitening product?

O' Pam...

photo source

Pam, Pam, Pam!  I'm speechless.  I just don't know what to say right now.  

I mean the boobs. foundation. black eyes. tan gone awry.  

Can someone help me out?  

We Should Be Having Sex

A recent article in The Guardian -The Joy of Confidence, shows women in their 40s are having the best sex of their lives.  Yeah, Baby!  I have to hurry up and find a man, boy toy husband so I can really enjoy my 40s.  I don’t want all of this hotness to go to waste.  

Dating sidebar:  a few weeks ago I was on a date and told an extremely crude man I don't intend to be intimate unless we are in an exclusive relationship since my goal is marriage.  He told me I'm almost 40, I only have 10 good years left, I need to be F$%^*n' someone!  WHATTTTTTT?  Sighhhhh.... yeah that date was a wrap.  But, you know in my date glory, he called again and tried to take me out and wondered what was wrong?  Did I not have a good time?  Uhh...NOOOOOOO!

Okay back to the post:

If you are under 40 and not having great sex you have something to look forward to.  If you are over 40 and not having great sex one reason the article points out is that you simply may not be interested in your partner any longer.  Ooooo, that’s keeping it real, but maybe you can get that spark back to get to great sex again.  Maybe you just need to loosen up a little, gain a little more confidence, learn yourself a little more (another topic for another day) or say to hell with convention (this is left to you for your interpretation).  Whatever it is, this is your time.

So, go have a little or a lot of sex...just have it.  It’s okay, the survey says so.

Are you having better sex in your 40s than you did at any other point in your life?

No More Gray Down There. Yes, There!

Last Valentine's Day I went to my neighborhood nail salon to get my eyebrows jacked up beautiful and at the counter there were a few boxes of stencils for down there. I chuckled and thought...cute.  The woman at the desk told me her boyfriend loved them, but I didn't think another thing about it considering I'm a big fan of Brazil, they are very sexy down there (hee hee).  My passport is full.  Been visiting Brazil ever since that first little gray in my 20s.   That very first piercing scream which resulted in a phone call to my mother hoping for sympathy but all I heard was roaring laughter.  I immediately thought, to hell with this, Brazil here I come!  

Fast forward to this morning.

I was reading one of my morning blog's (before 8am of course) when it highlighted a product for coloring your vay-jay-jay (thanks Decorno for the fodder).   Betty color for the hair down there (the same company as the stencils). From someone that grayed prematurely (10% by age 12, 25% in college, 50% in 20s, now 75%) I thought BRILLIANT!  FINALLY!  Maybe I can visit another country from time to time instead of Brazil always.  I do wonder how the other side lives.  However, I quickly realized reading the blog, not everyone appreciated this brilliance. Ahhh....youth.  Ok, ok. I know I'm still young (shut up).  I'm just fortunate to have so many aging challenges (yeah, whatever).  The bright spot to all of this is I still look young.   On my knees kissing the ground...thank you!

Despite the haters, I still think Betty is a genius product and many of those women who are hating on the product now will be the same women who want to purchase it in about 10-20. Heck with the way vanity is rising these days, it may be 5-10.

What do you think? Would you try Betty?

BTW...I do know this post is after 8 am and I watched TV on Friday (I'm only human, I'm going to pray now!).